 Life in the doghouse isn't that hard you know - I have Dad and Rosie feeding me several square meals (of kibble) each day, I get to sleep on Egyptian cotton sheets, Dad cleans my teeth each night with doggy toothpaste and toothbrush, I have my own filtered water dispenser (Evian later probably), I get taken out to exercise whenever I go and sit near the front door, I attend dog events and hangout with my doggy friends, and I have my own website to share the puppy love! As you would be aware from reading my other posts, my owners recently moved to a pet friendly place - so I could have lots of room to play, a big backyard for me to explore and some really nice parks and trails that we go walking on twice a day. Despite Granny now giving up her work full-time (something they call "retirement", I believe), she does still consults now and then, but she knows her number one priority is...ME! She usually comes down and picks me every day shortly after Dad and Rosie head off for the day at work, and I hang with her all day, meeting up with her friends for lunch, shopping and talking on her mobile - you know, all that good stuff humans do when they get bored. Now I must say I was a bit taken back on Monday - when Granny actually decided to go to work, and not come down and chill with me all day. A first time event - naughty Granny! Despite Animal Planet, Dog Whisperer and Emergency Vets all being top shows on Foxtel (they put that on when they go out so I can educate myself, so they reckon), after a few repeats during the day I lose just a bit of interest. Hearing about "rules and boundaries" all the time makes me a bit sad cause as soon as I associate it with Mum, and also Dad is no good at maintaining them, so I switch off. Despite being able to free run around the house and backyard, poop in the house a few times and growl at strangers and all that, I was mightly relieved when Rosie and Dad got back and it was back to a pampered life for me! Overnight, when Dad and Rosie were sleeping, I decided that I needed a new strategy in case this situation with Granny was on-going, which I would implement in the morning..... This involves (and a tip for all other doggies out there in the same situation): - as soon as the alarm goes off, jump up on the bed and kiss and cuddle Dad and Rosie and look really cute (high fives and "how do you do" hand shakes and all that other rubbish humans love to play with dogs).....
- follow Dad into the bathroom and watch him shave and shower. Pretend to be really submissive and follow him around while he is getting dressed and having breakfast....
- when Dad picks up the keys and comes over to give me a pat and say bye, roll-over like this and pretend to get a little bit shaky. Lick his hand and wag my tail a lot......
- after about 15 minutes of pats, when Rosie says "we have to go, NOW, or we'll be late", look at both of them with big brown eyes and start squinting....
- when Dad drags himself away (being a sook that he is, he is now looking really sad), imagine that you are Renee Zellweger's little boy in "Jerry Maguire" when he is saying bye to Tom Cruise, and say in dog speak "GO AHEAD AND GO..GO AHEAD AND GO..." and behave accordingly....
- watch Dad and Rosie look really guilty for leaving and secretly laugh at Dad for being a wimp...
Result (as predicted): 12 minutes after they left Granny arrived to spoil me all day (and has now given up work to mind me daily). Strategic planning and execution (and a bit of subtle manipulation) at it's best! Love Dora XX
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